Dear Homosexual America, I’m sorry | An open letter from a Christian

America, in light of the SCOTUS ruling yesterday legalizing gay marriage, I wrote you a letter.

Before I begin, I want to share a little bit about myself so you know exactly who it is writing this letter. My name is Kaitlin. I am a 20 year old college grad with a degree in Business. I am a social entrepreneur. I am a fighter for ethical clothing. I am a braker for birds, thrift store aficionado, travel junkie, and outdoor enthusiast. I am a twin. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I am a people lover. But even that doesn’t tell you much about me.

My core, my very identity is this: I am a sinner, saved by grace. I am the daughter of the King of kings, Lord of the nations, Creator of the earth and Lover of souls. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God’s hands and I am precious in His eyes. In Him I’m made perfect and complete, and through Him I am a vessel of mercy and grace. In Him I find purpose, love, guidance and peace. I have laid down my life at the feet of Jesus and surrendered all I am for all of Him. I am His. His servant, His slave, His daughter, His beloved. Any good thing in me comes from Him.

Lastly, before I get started I would like to clearly explain my view on homosexuality so there is no confusion and you aren’t left to wonder. But promise me this, if you have read this far, don’t stop now. Don’t stop if my view differs from yours. Just hear me out.

I believe that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-28, Mark 10:6-9, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Corinthians 6:17-20). As I already stated earlier, I believe in the Bible, and I believe it in it’s entirety. There are many things the Bible does not take a clear stance on, but homosexuality is not one of them. One cannot read the Bible and yet walk away thinking it supports gay marriage. I will not argue with or try to persuade you into believing the same thing. That is not the purpose of this post. (However, if you do have questions or would like to have a pleasant, civil conversation regarding this topic, feel free to get in touch — I’ll even buy the coffee!)

So now that you know exactly who is writing this letter and what I believe, let me get started…

Dear LGBT community,

I am so sorry. After scrolling through social media feeds and talking to different people, I am completely and totally heartbroken, I sit here having shed plenty of tears. But not for the reason you might think. I am heartbroken because I cannot get on Facebook or Twitter without reading posts by self-identifying Christians initiating gross arguments with your community or disgustingly apathetic posts regarding how “we win” in the end.
I am so disappointed. These reactions are not Christ-like and they are a very, very poor representation of what it is we believe. I am begging God that you do not judge Christ and His church based on the way some “Christians” have so badly handled this situation.

They have forgotten that they, we, are sinners too. Our nature is wicked disobedience. On our own we followed the ways of this world, worshipping the ruler of the kingdom of the air. We gratified the nature of our flesh, following its desires and thoughts, and were deserving of wrath. But God, being so rich in grace and mercy, when we were dead in our sins and could not help ourselves, made us alive in Christ Jesus. It is by grace we have been saved. (Ephesians 2). Clearly they have forgotten their own depravity, as one cannot understand Christ’s grace and mercy and still respond to sin with judgement and condemnation.  I am sorry.

So many of them are up in arms and even surprised because the Supreme Court’s decision does not align with the Bible. They argue that homosexual marriage should not have been legalized because it does not agree with God’s purpose for marriage. In doing so, they are arguing for a Christian state and a Christian country. Dare I suggest that that does not align with the Bible? Jesus did not come to establish a Christian state. As Jesus says in John 18:36, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.” Jesus never planned to establish an earthly, Christian Kingdom on this earth. He did not care for a christian state, but for the state of our souls. Yet they have become so wrapped up in having a Christian country that they have forsaken your souls in showing hate and condemnation to you. I am so sorry.

They argue against homosexual marriage on the grounds that it does not honor God, but they completely ignore the fact that for years, many heterosexual marriages have not honored Him either. In the last 30 years, the divorce rate has been the highest ever, with the peak reaching half of all marriages ending in divorce. Heterosexual marriages are filled with adultery and pornography, with husband and wife cohabiting a space but rarely ever acknowledging each other’s presence. I am sorry that rather than addressing the issue as a whole, they address only  homosexual marriages. I’m sorry that Christians as a whole have done a poor job of modeling godly marriages, or that if they have one, they do a poor job of inviting others to be a part of their lives, to witness their God-honoring marriage. We have become so complacent with living our christian lives, in christian communities, with christian friends and have completely shut out the outside world. Jesus came not for the healthy but the sick (Mark 2:17). He spent his time not with the religious but the sinners. I am sorry that we have become content with attending church or church related activities 4 and 5 times a week, and don’t even know the names of our neighbors. I am sorry we do not spend time with the sick.

Lastly, I’m sorry for all the posts you read regarding how “we win in the end.” I am disgusted by the apathy. Yes, Jesus will return one day and sin will be defeated once and for all. Yes, there is a battle against Good and Evil, and yes, Jesus has already won that battle, but that should not be their response. I’ve read posts where people are begging Jesus to come quickly, so that once and for all, sin no longer reins and it is no longer celebrated. I am begging Jesus to wait. If He returns this afternoon I will fall on my face in adoration, and I don’t dare wish to tell Him the right and proper time that He should return. But I beg him to have mercy and compassion and to wait. There are millions of people that do not know the love of our Father, that have not surrendered their lives to Him, and if Jesus returned today all of those people would be separated from God for eternity. I want each and every one of you standing beside me in Heaven worshipping our Good Father. Therefore, I beg Jesus to wait.  I am so sorry that their response is otherwise.

Homosexual America, please forgive us. Forgive us for the bigotry and hatred we have shown, for the many instances that we have failed to display Christ. I love you. Oh how I love. I do not agree with your lifestyle, but I love you nonetheless. That’s the beauty of the gospel…even when Christ did not agree with my sinful lifestyle, He loved me anyway and died for me.

I am praying that as Christians, we would allow Christ’s love, grace, mercy and compassion to flow through us and into your lives. That through our response to this issue, and every other issue out there, you would see Jesus. As you have already discovered, we will fail. When we do, I’m praying we have the humility to admit that we were wrong, to apologize and to seek reconciliation.

I believe that love from your partner will never satisfy the love you are looking for, just like love from a man will never satisfy the love my heart craves. Only Jesus does that. But I pray that my life, more than my mouth, will gloriously display that beautiful truth to you and all I come into contact with. And if you don’t know me, I’m asking the Lord to put someone in your life to display that truth to you.

I love you, regardless of whether or not I know you. And there is always room at my dinner table for you, regardless of who you’re married to (Mark 2:13-17).

In Christ,

Update: Due to the argumentative nature of many comments,  for now I have disabled the discussion section. Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to an authentic, respectful conversation! If you would like to get in touch with questions or comments, I would love to hear from you! Feel free to email me at – I only ask that you respect my desire to have a pleasant, civil conversation. I have very much enjoyed hearing from people all around the world, thank you for taking time to read the post!


60 thoughts on “Dear Homosexual America, I’m sorry | An open letter from a Christian

  1. kaleighrozanski says:

    I adore your heart, sister. I feel so thankful that you spoke these words – I’ve had a hard time finding the right words to say. Thank you.


  2. Abbie says:

    Powerful stuff from someone so youthful. Well stated, well reasoned. Many of us, even “wise” oldsters are still trying to clarify our feelings & thinking. Thank you for speaking up!


  3. Kathy says:

    Christ’s light shines through you, Kaitlin, and may His light shine through others and knock down the self-made platform on which they spew rage and disdain for another body that was made in God’s image and humble their hearts.


  4. Kate says:

    Bless you Kaitlyn. We are all sinners. Each and every one of us. There are so many complicated issues and where do we stand? I have a gay family member and friends. How do I treat them? With love! I just wonder, if Jesus was here now, would he bless a gay marriage? Would he want His Bride to bless gay marriages? God is our father. As his children, we are to be corrected and disciplined in love. He has “rules” as any parent should. This issue is difficult because we cling to this world. Humanism is love of this world. As Christians, Jesus tells us we are to leave this world behind and take up His Cross and follow him. This does not make us popular or understood by people who hate Jesus and what he stands for. People love their sin!
    In the end times, “evil will become good, and good, evil” and not just this issue. We are there. We are being persecuted for our beliefs. Jesus warned us. We are blessed if persecuted because of him. Many times Jesus said “go and sin no more”….. so that means we are to repent. We are to glorify Christ in all speech, action and thought. An ongoing process for all of us. Jesus sat with the sinners and the lowly but he changed their hearts. We are to exemplify this. You are right in this respect Kaitlyn…… “but above all….LOVE”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Wendy, A Day in the Life on the Farm says:

    May God bless you abundantly Kaitlin. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us Christians wished to convey. It is sad that there is so much division in this world in the name of our Savior. Too often we forget the commandment that he placed the most emphasis on…to love the Lord our God and to love our fellow man.


  6. Román Jané De Balanzó says:

    Hi Kaitlin!
    I’ve enjoyed a lot reading your post, you have showed me a different point of view of gay marriage, and it’s probably the most convincing one that I have ever read. Thank you for sharing it with us.
    This world need more minds like yours.

    Greetings from Barcelona – Spain!

    (sorry for my english)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for that. I don’t believe in Christianity or any other religion for that matter but the compassion you have for people is very inspiring. There is no need for so much hate in the world. We don’t have to agree with everything that people may do but as long as we respect each other as equal human beings and love one another, this world would be so much better off. Please keep spreading the compassion!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. J Davis says:

    I couldn’t agree more with the majority of your post and wish more would open their eyes to see that not all Christians hate gays. Just because we don’t agree with it or condone it does not mean we can’t love them. I just wish we wouldn’t be labeled as “judgmental” when we speak the truth in love.
    However, the only thing I did disagree is that we are His slave?? Yes we do serve Him but I would not consider Christians His slaves. We are not forced to follow Him or serve Him.

    And then of course someone would try to pick apart every thing you said – of course when Jesus said the well need no physician, only those who are sick – that is not calling the homosexual community sick…. It is a metaphor for those who have not repented of their sins.

    However, my one thing that I wonder is for the “Christian” gays… can you please tell me what it says in Leviticus 18:22. Seems that would stop any debate right there. And I’m not trying to be offensive with that, I really would like to know how they can read that scripture and still say that the lifestyle they are living is okay.

    All we can do is pray… and show God’s love. After all, being a Christian is being Christ-like.

    Well said, Kaitlin!! God Bless.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Kailey says:

    Thank you for putting to words what I could not. I have been searching for how to express my thoughts for the past few days and, for the first time in my life, could not put it down in writing. Thank You!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Brea Nicole says:

      I don’t think she means “sick” in literal terms. The context of the use of the word means the people who don’t necessarily have Christ. We need to separate ourselves from our church community and church activities to take the time to spend with people who aren’t there. People who haven’t surrendered their lives to Christ. Etc. We need to LOVE them.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Bill Kish says:


    One of the problems we face in this and all subjects is that, because of Facebook, Twitter, et all, we continue, as we were, starting with 24/7 cable TV, to think in sound bites. I have read 5 or 6 pieces now that I can say the “Amen” to. Yours is one of them. It would be nice if we could do a medley of them all. Thank you for your thoughts.


    Liked by 1 person

  11. gpbak says:

    To the author of this post and all the folks who have never been taught history and what “worldview” means.

    It’s so sad to read posts like this and to think that there are tons of young and not so young Americans who have never been disciples by someone who distinguished the difference between personal salvation and running a nation.

    Dear Kaitlin, I wasn’t born and raised in America. Rather, I was born and raises in a formerly Communist nation. I grew up with the hope one day the evil of that murderous regime will be gone and my people will be free. I know first hand what it means to live in a totalitarian society.

    The greatest threat resulting from this latest SCOTUS decision is the threat it poses to freedom of speech. This is a from or totalitarianism. It has nothing to do with whether some Christians are biggots and some not. There will always be bigggots, just like there will always be poor amongst us. Sadly, so many Christians in America today simply don’t understand what liberty is about and how easily it can be lost.
    So many Christians are so naive and don’t understand the HUGE difference between ordinary homosexuals and the militant homosexual lobby, who hates Christians and would gladly throw us all in jail if they could.

    It pains me that young people in America today think that to be a Christian means to be “nice” and not offend anyone BECUASE here it comes – “well, Christ wouldn’t do this, would he?!” WRONG! He did offend people by what he said ALL THE TIME. Not because it was his intention. They TOOK offense.

    The nation of Israel had a revival in the years after Jesus’ resurrection. Israel wasn’t jusged by God because they crucified Christ. He HAD TO BE – FOR ALL OF US! God isn’t a schizo! The reason Israel was judged is because even after the resurrection there was an outpouring of the Spirit and people became living epistles of Christ all over the land, THE RULING CLASS held on to Judasim, to the old temple, to irrelevant, dead religion. MOST of what we see in American churches today is “old temple” stuff! America will be judged because it has failed to discern the difference between Jesus and the pseudo-religion.

    Liked by 7 people

    • Anny says:

      God isn’t a schizo? Then why did he change tactics completely: from a condemning god who had only one chosen people to whom he meted out punishments & rewards immediately (old testament) to a loving god who accepted anyone who came to him through his son and who saved reward and punishment to the afterlife (new testament)?

      Liked by 3 people

      • kapple says:

        Perhaps it’s because He realized that we are all imperfect and in need of saving. Rather than smite us all, He sent one perfect sacrifice to be the stand in. Only then could He look upon us without disdain or regret for having created us. To me, this is not schizo behavior. It is mercy.

        Liked by 4 people

      • Callie says:

        Because Jesus came, died on the cross, and rose again to save us from our sins. In doing so he gave his life to save ours. God sent Jesus because the people were disobeying Him and not following Him. Now we have the opportunity to be saved through the GRACE of God.

        Liked by 2 people

  12. gpbak says:

    Please stop spreading the “50% of all marriages end in divorce” myth! It’s not true, it never was so let’s get serious about the issues and quit the emotionalism. It doesn’t help!

    The divorce rate, even at its peak in the 70’s and 80’s was never more than 30%

    The 50% lie was a projection.

    The divorce rate among Christians is even lower (between 20-25%) as a recent 8 year long study well documented!

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Nancy Staab says:

    Dear Kaitlyn, please understand that many people who are lashing out at the SCOTUS decision on Gay marriage are very scared for their children and their grandchildren. Our society is changing very rapidly and the gay lifestyle is being promoted very aggressively, especially on TV, in both shows and ads. Many children will be influenced into thinking that homosexuality is a viable alternative for their life and will reject God’s design for marriage. Others of us are very concerned that our religious freedoms will be compromised by this decision. Will our pastors be forced to marry gay couples or will our pastor be accused of Hate speech because he preaches against homosexuality? These are not unfounded concerns as gay people have already shown a willingness to destroy business owners who don’t wish to participate in their gay weddings. Our neighboring country of Canada has recently considered a law that says the Bible can be called Hate Speech. So take some time out from falling all over yourself feeling compassion for Gay people and embarrassment for fellow Christians and feel some empathy for those of us who have some very realistic concerns for our children, our grandchildren, and for our religious freedoms.

    Liked by 15 people

    • Karen says:

      I agree Nancy. I haven’t really seen any “hate” speech on the threads I read. People just concerned about just what you have stated.

      Liked by 5 people

    • Anny says:

      But your fears are only founded if you believe a person can be talked into becoming homosexual. For those of us who do not believe in the bible or god’s divinity, we should not be forced to live by your beliefs and/or fears of so-called sin. I can be just as moral without threat of eternal damnation or hope for eternal reward. Gay marriage only affects the gay.

      Liked by 4 people

    • dylantalkschurch says:

      You have exemplified the very nature of Christians regarding this topic in your response to Kaitlin. She is your Christian sister, attempting to show grace and love to those in the struggle. She never once said that she agreed with homosexual nature, and cited scripture as to why. She never once said that she agreed with the SCOTUS decision or that she condoned homosexuality being shoved down the throats of Americans. “So take some time out from falling all over yourself feeling compassion for gay people and embarrassment for fellow Christians and feel some empathy for those of us who have some very realistic concerns for our children, our grandchildren, and our religious liberties.” What a rude and distasteful thing to say to your Christian sister! What a statement, lacking in love and grace, to say to a person who loves and serves the same God as you! Not to mention agrees with you! You have exemplified little grace in your conversation with her, so I worry about your concept of grace with the homosexual community. I guess having compassion means falling over myself though. I guess having compassion for the lost is not the very reason in which Christ came in the first place. After all, Jesus himself teaches that compassion means nothing at all unless you cross the street and do something about it. What if Christ had compassion for the lost, but not enough to go to the cross and do something about it? You have a very real concern. But Kaitlin has openly professed her very real concern in answering the calls that Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc. answered… To beg mercy for lost souls. Concern should be for lost souls, all of them!

      Liked by 7 people

    • Tonya says:

      Laws are now in motion to protect pastors and their beliefs and not being forced to marry gays. Now, almost anyone can marry with the right certificate.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Jason Pelletier says:

      “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (‭John‬ ‭16‬:‭33‬ ESV)

      “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

      “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.” (‭Acts‬ ‭5‬:‭41‬ ESV)

      What in the bible leads you to believe that we should be free from persecution, trials, suffering, or hardship? This is not our home, and the world is going to hate us because we love the Father. It’s inevitable. Rather than worry about the future of the world our children will grow up in, we should focus on raising our children to handle whatever state the world ends up in, with the grace and love of God. Praying and petitioning for Gods kingdom to come on earth is a worthy prayer, and we should seek to be lights and advocate for Gods morality, but not be surprised or fearful when the world doesn’t accept it. We have nothing to fear, because God is with us, and nothing can separate us from that. If we TRULY believe that the perfect love of God is with us…. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭18‬ ESV)”. Then and only then, are we free to love those who are different from us without fear or anger in our hearts.

      Liked by 14 people

    • Rachel Lucas Bertsch says:

      To walk with Jesus is a walk only for that one person. And god is so much more then what the government can do. Have faith and don’t worry. I think the article was well stated and more Christians need to think of this as an opportunity to show God’s love, grace, and mercy through Jesus. God Bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sierra says:

      If your concern for your children and grandchildren is so all consuming, and you are a Believer, I suggest you double down on your prayers for your loved ones and Let God…

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Jonathon says:

    Thank you. And thank God for using you to share this message.
    There are many who have struggled with how best to respond to the sin in our lives and in the world. Many get it wrong. Some have had knee jerk reactions they probably regretted right away.
    However, I am confident the love of Christ in us through His Spirit will help us respond appropriately.
    Thanks again for the reminder that none of us deserve mercy or grace. But we, as Believers must offer these in love to those without Jesus.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. ajhdeng says:

    I’m not homosexual. I’m not a Christian. I don’t agree with everything you say here either. But if everyone had a view point like this of accepting everyone as they are regardless then I think the world would be a lot better.

    A very mature post. Thank you for writing it.

    Liked by 12 people

  16. Steve Anderson says:

    I somehow stumbled upon this, and I’m glad I did. Thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit as He spoke through you for this. This is what the world needs. Thank you!

    Liked by 3 people

  17. says:

    I pray I see you in heaven sister! I’m impressed that there are people out there like you.. I totally agree with your msg. Stay focused on God❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Natalie says:

    My favorite quote in all of this is, “I believe that love from your partner will never satisfy the love you are looking for, just like love from a man will never satisfy the love my heart craves. Only Jesus does that.” That can’t be more true! I love this!

    Liked by 8 people

  19. Cristle Spelts says:

    I loved reading this and the wisdom that you showed. Hate the sin and love the sinner. We all far short in many different ways. May God Bless All of US..

    Liked by 3 people

    • Greer says:

      You are an amazing and inspiring young woman of only 20! You are wise beyond your years!!! I hope that many read this, really read thiS and think before they judge.

      Liked by 2 people

    • jolynn Carter says:

      well written….and agree….except for the part about praying to come quickly. The Lord in His word, which I to believe is the final authority and all is His , tells us to Pray…Come Quickly Lord, come Quickly…when the last person who will except Christ does….He will come…and asking Him to come Quickly simply means….ready…to…go….nothing on this earth can compare so why would we want to stay in this old world. Agree tho…we all sin…just sin differently…..

      Liked by 2 people

      • Tracy Esu says:

        She means for the sake of others. We will spend the rest of eternity with Christ, and only a short while here on earth. So it’s better to wait in the Lord on earth until we have done our best to reach out to as many souls as possible before it is too late for them. But of course, He knows the beginning and the end, so He knows when the perfect time to arrive will be. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

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